People who are under orders to stay at home do not, it appears, worry much about dressing up for the occasion. So my business has pretty much dried up with the arrival of COVID19, and there are some aspects of that which I am enjoying. My amount of time spent with the kiddos is through the roof – and this has been a positive experience.
While I was anxious at first, I gave myself permission to be unproductive and that helped me relax. But when I see my neighbor doing a brisk curbside business, I feel that I am falling behind and the urge comes back. Also, while there is plenty of work to be done around the house, much of it requires supplies and materials which I must pay for somehow. I get nervous when money goes out faster than it comes in.
Beyond the remunerative benefits, work helps me to focus. I know that I am doing something of value, and the work is laid out clearly in front of me. With the changes COVID19 has wrought, it is this lack of a ready outlet for my steady focus that has been the most difficult for me. I am working to bend myself to other tasks at hand, but I am frustrated by the lack of facility which comes from practicing at something new. I have shifted my attention to real estate construction projects. I am a fair enough hand around the house, but it is nothing like the feeling of being in my sewing shop, master of my domain. When I sew, I have all of my tools at the ready and know how to use each one. When I sew, my hands fly about their work, almost independently of myself. When I sew, I can rest my mind to work on the one job in front of me, comfortable in the knowledge that the work I am doing is good.